Yebisu, anyone?
by LilTigre
Summary: Set after the end of the series. The TAC throws a party, Kusanagi gets drunk, and Momiji finds out just what kind of experiments Matsudaira really wants to perform on Kusanagi....


  
*~*  
  
Kusanagi was drunk.  
  
There was no doubt in Momiji's mind of that fact as she watched him  
stare slack-jawed at the ceiling. The TAC was throwing something of a  
party to more or less celebrate the fact that they had ensured the  
safety of Japan for at least another generation. Kunikida had assured  
her that it would just be a pleasant get-together of sorts.  
  
He neglected to mention that Koume was the one who was doing all the  
planning.  
  
The brashest member of the group had enlisted an old friend of hers, a  
guy by the name of Katsuragi, to bring to the party the biggest damn  
cache of beer in all of Japan. "'Cause, y'know," Koume had slurred  
early on, waving a can of Yebisu to punctuate her words, "a party  
ain't a party wi' out da beer."   
  
That wasn't what stood out most clearly in the young woman's mind as  
she watched a very drunk-off-his-ass Yaegashi try to do a striptease  
on the coffee table for the ladies; the thing that stood out most was  
her boyfriend, the reclusive Kusanagi, sample his first taste of beer.  
  
He didn't like it very much.  
  
"What th' *hell* are you tryin' to make me drink *shouben* for?" he  
had yelled right after spewing the mouthful of liquid all over a  
shocked Sugishita. He had then proceeded to throw the can at him  
(knocking the candy-assed cop out cold) before running into the  
kitchen. After the sound of retching was through, he came out with a  
couple of cans of Calpis Soda. Momiji was thankful for the drink; it helped  
her keep Koume from trying to press some Yebisu beer on her.  
  
At some point, probably after Kusanagi had damn near broken  
Sugishita's arm playing jan-ken-pon (or paper, rocks, scissors,  
whatever) and slapping him if he lost, Momiji had noticed her  
boyfriend acting, well... a little peculiar. He actually joined in  
with a raucous conversation Kunikida was having with the ladies (which  
was thankful, because Kunikida was boring the hell out of them with  
his puns), and began socializing freely. He hadn't gone near the  
rapidly dissappearing pile of beer after that first sip, but he was  
undeniably drunk.   
  
Of course, the fact that he was now staggering across the room singing  
something about the color of her panties was something of a hint  
towards that.  
  
She stepped over Yaegashi, who was fighting to keep his boxers on  
(Koume having dared him to take it all off), and walked over to  
Kusanagi. He looked over at her, his slitted eyes completely  
unfocused, and pushed his can of Calpis at her. "Hol' zis," he  
slurred, an inane grin on his face, "I get s'more frum th' ki- ki- th'  
food place."  
  
Momiji sighed as she watched him struggle off. [Funny,] she thought to  
herself, [I didn't smell any alcohol on him....] She sniffed  
experimentally at his can; there was no odor to it at all except that  
of the milky, bubbly goodness of Calpis Soda. Somehow, as she tilted it, it seemed  
to change color....  
  
She poured a bit of it on the floor (it was already so filthy now that  
no one would notice) and stared at the blue-green liquid nervously.  
"What is this?" She sipped a litle from the can- which was similar to  
a indirect kiss, she realized with a thrill- and spit it out  
immediately after. "Yuck," she grimaced, chugging the rest of her  
soda to get rid of the taste. "What is that stuff?"  
  
It hit her in a flash of intuition that was almost scary. Someone had  
spiked his drink.  
  
Smiling to herself at having figured that out, she began to follow his  
trail to the kitchen, gently nudging over Takeuchi (who was buck  
nekkid and unconscious- as was Kunikida. She shuddered at *that*  
sight...) to make way for her to walk.  
  
She stepped on a bottle and slipped, falling flat on her rear. Momiji  
picked up the bottle, then brought it to her face excitedly. It was a  
quarter full of a blue-green liquid just like she had found in his  
drink; she struggled to make out the English lettering on the front.  
  
"Mi- ra- kaa Gu- rou? Mirakaa Gurou?"  
  
"Don' wanna do nothin'... go 'way, will ya?"  
  
The protest came from behind the kitchen door; the teen sprang to her  
feet, recognizing the voice, and opened the door-  
  
-to find Matsudaira, who was in a tight leather bikini, busily trying  
to unfasten Kusanagi's pants. A whip and other bondage items lay  
scattered at her feet; his ripped shirt was bundled in a Baggie and  
labeled for DNA analysis.  
  
"Matsudaira!!!" she shouted.  
  
The scientist stopped short, an embarrassed blush coming over her face  
as she realized she'd been caught.  
"Momiji, Momiji, look-" she tried to reason as the young woman began  
to stalk towards her, a murderous glint in her eyes. "I'm just trying  
to get some data-"  
  
"Get data on *this*!" Momiji's lashed out; the right cross snapped  
Matsudaira's head back, and it was lights out for the good scientist.  
She scowled at the unconscious woman before walking over to her  
boyfriend. "Kusanagi, are you okay?"  
  
He opened one eye and hiccuped. "Thur- there ya are... was lookin' fer  
ya...." She barely mamaged to catch him before he passed out  
completely on the floor.  
  
"Some party," she grumbled as she grabbed her boyfriend under the arms  
and began to drag him to a back bedroom. "Although...." A wicked grin  
came over her face. "I think it's time I did some experiments...  
myself."  
  
*~*  
  
"Shouben," for the Japanese-impaired, is piss.  



End file.
